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Friday, April 16, 2010

Can IT Work

Which way do you go?
Heart or Faith
I have been fortunate in my Adult Life to have never dated any one who represents a different religion or as some people would say Faith. I do however know that this can pose quite a problem. I’m sure it affects things as small as eating habits as well as things that are as big like How To Raise Your Children. Do you let your heart guide you and push morale to the side? Faith is something that you are supposed to stand up for so there’s really know way of avoiding it.

I am guessing that if I am of Christian Faith and my partner wasn’t, it could lead to tension, but relationships are about compromise, aren’t they? But if your partner adopts the actions of a religion just as a compromise, but not the beliefs behind it, isn’t that just going thru the motions, which isn’t really what religion is about?

I guess a lot of it depends on the Faith of the people involved, right?

Or do you just lead by example hoping that they eventually choose the same path?

I mean if your really believe that by not sharing your religion, your partner is hurting his or herself (i.e. condemning his /herself to a after life of Eternal Damnation), then you’d want to help him /her out, right? I could see that leading to problems down the road since there’s not much room for movement there unless one of you softens your stance on the subject. Luckily like I said in the beginning I have never had this happened to me so
What Do You Think?


Don said...

Although I have never gotten caught up into the religious beliefs of whatever woman I dated (of the save your own soul belief), it would make sense to me that a man (or woman) has to decide with Faith and never the heart. Even if the heart itself which ultimately decides one's faith.

I believe it goes back to the 'fear of no man' except God theory.

I imagine for those who remain convicted upon their religious beliefs the fact that one or the other has opposing beliefs can and will cause problems down the line.

Ericka Cherrie said...

dateing ppl with other religious beliefs or without any beliefs or convictions at all can/will cause problems. honestly problems can still occur with a person that shares your same beliefs if one is putting forth more effort to consiously follow the laws of that faith daily

25champ said...

@Don......I totally agree at some point I believe that if the love isn't inspired by the same faith is doomed 2 fail.

@ericka.....I agree, but that's just speaking for relationships that don't work in general. You need to have the same belief system once u and ur partner decides he/she wants a family. If one truly practices his faith then it will be hard to co exist with one of another religion.Thanks 4 sharing your thoughts.

Unknown said...

Some may not think that it is important in the beginning, but dating someone of similiar faith is very important. I always believe that a man and a woman should be EQUALLY YOKED. How you run your household, treat your mate, care for your children, and love who you are with are all shaped by your FAITH.

Mizrepresent said...

I happen to believe in the theory of being "equally yoked", bc if you are not, like your commenters have already said above it can cause problems later on in the relationship. Everything really begins with God or your faith and ends their. If you two don't share the same or similar beliefs you will contradict each other. Case in point. I know of a woman who married a man, the love was great, they were happy but a year later he decided to become a Muslim and things changed. He made this decision w/out involving his wife. Suffice it to say, they are not together now. It is very important and i think one of the most important conversations you can have before committing. Good post!

Katherine said...

I really wouldn't know the answer to this. My husband & I are of the same faith. I guess the more like minded you are the better.
Yeh... I really don't know how to comment on this one. I think true love can also cross all kinds of barriers ... and I am sure there are people out there that have made it work.
It really is a case of each to their own!

Meagan said...

From personal experience I know mixing religions can never work. I know two couples divorced because of different religious beliefs. I was raised as 7Th Day Adventist, and when I met my husband he wasn't familiar with the Adventist, so there were some reservations, but in the end he eventually ended up being baptized in my church. Love, faith, or an ever lasting life with our Lord and Saviour...all of the above!

Great post Champ...As always providing deep prospectives.


25champ said...

@myundiary..... I couldn't agree wit u more and thankyou for stopping by don't be a stranger.

@Mizrepresent......Def the most import discussion u could have before committment.

@Katherine....I'm sure somebodies relationship has work. Somebody always slips through the cracks, but if you truly believe that your marriage is under God then you have to believe that it starts with worshiping the same God.

@Meagan....Thankyou. There are many cases where the spouse may switch, but it usually comes from who's really the most insecure about his or her faith. If you truly believe that your practice is the right one it's hard to back down. In the end it worked out for you so that great.

Kandia said...

If you're just dating it might not be such a big deal, but if two people are planning on sharing a house-hold and raising kids together then it would only make sense to me to find someone who shares in my beliefs. When times get tough sometimes all you have to hang onto is your faith and if both are going in different directions then that could eventually cause a wedge in the relationship. Just my two cents :-)

25champ said...

@Kandia..... I totally agree wit your two cents. Thanks 4 stopping by as always!

Anonymous said...

I believe in being equally yoked. Once I went out with this dude who I really liked. During the middle of our conversation, he said he didn't believe in God. I was done at that point.

25champ said...

@Thoughts of a Southern gal.....I 2 have had one of those moments. I tell you it was awkward Yeah I had to get outta that situation.... I didn't even feel comfortable for the rest of that evening. Thanks 4 stopping by.

Random Thoughts said...

i agree wit this post that if the two ppl dnt hav the same religion that it can cause issues n a relationship especially n a marraige. yall both should share the same beliefs n same God or it wont work. cus one will feel their religious beliefs r more important than their mate.

25champ said...

@peaches27....bang! hit the nail on the head :)

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