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Monday, June 21, 2010


I was asked to write a blogg about why “Men equate love with giving gifts (also used for fake apologies), while Women equate love by cooking and cleaning”. Sorry it took so long for me to write about it, but I’m writing about it now. I don’t personally think gifts equal love, but I could understand how a man may think gifts are an equal way of showing love. First of all real men are givers by nature so anything that he could give to his significant other may make him feel as if he is showing her some form of love. Note that I said "real men". When you see the look in your women’s eyes after you have given a present, you can tell that she feels some form of love or affection. Secondly I have never known a female who met a gift that she didn’t like. I’m not trying to be offensive in anyway, but theirs more demand for what a man can do with his pockets then that of a women. Usually you win her over by doing nice things for her. Not necessarily buying gifts, but by taken her out to movies, dinner, or by sending flowers. I do believe that men do more than buy gifts to show love, but it’s usually overlooked when the gifts stop coming in. The first thing your girl would tell you is you don’t do the things you used to do. That’s usually centered around something financial. All of a sudden your jokes aren’t enough anymore. Neither is your charming personality.
Remember the phrases “no romance without finance” or “what have you done for me lately". Independent women of today don’t want a man with less than what they have, even though men still are willing to take a woman with less .Even men who make less money than his girlfriend still end up spending more money showering her with gifts. As far as men using gifts to break the ice in the form of an apology…. that depends on the women. Again something that I’ve never done or at least I don’t think I’ve done consciously. I know men are opportunist and will take advantage of anything that will get him out of a situation. If you are that simple that you can’t see when he is buying your forgiveness than that’s a damn shame. When I am mad at a women the only thing that you can do to resolve the situation is to take responsibility for your part in the situation, no gift can overturn that. I guess that’s what’s makes men and women different huh.
I’m no cave man, but in 2010 women aren’t that big on cooking or cleaning. Even when they stay at home instead of working they are more concerned with proving to you that women don’t have to cook or clean anymore than they are with just taking on a role of some form. I do believe that there are some women who are still willing to cook or clean for their men, but not that many. I know the question was geared towards the women who cook or clean so here we go. Men are big kids; it doesn’t take much to satisfy most of us. Feeding us and taking care the house hold makes a man feel like what he is doing is worth while. We love to feel appreciated and the women in our life who are willing to do those things will inherit man who will go through extreme measures to put a smile on there face.
It’s not just about us being lazy, it’s about appreciation. Real men and note that I said real can’t be bought and since most of us do provide (that’s real men again) instead of gifts we prefer a nice home cooked meal. Give him a sandwhich and some peace while he watches the game and he will probably make you his wife lls.


Don said...

From my experiences, the same women who have problems with men trying to buy love are the same women with their hands always out, looking for something.

Money changes everything....

I have also found that the same women who constantly talk about love this, love that, are the same women who really aren't about love.

Money cannot buy love and trying to force love does a person no good either. I am just happy that my woman/lady is my best friend and a tried and proven friend, at that. I don't mind letting her win and she doesn't mind allowing my wins.

Giving. Receiving.
That's the business.

25champ said...

@Don....I couldn't agree more. It's about giving on both sides. I feel that the fellas are always backed into a corner on what they don't do. Just think about all of the arguements you've had in the past about all the things you don't do anymore.Production shouldn't equate love...effort should, but that's 2 much like RT!

She Hate Me said...

This has been the million dollar question since the beginning of time when the first caveman whacked a warthog and brought it home for his wife, only to have her swoon over the neighbor's husband because he killed an wooly mammoth and then yell and scream and him for not doing what the neighbor did.

It will ALWAYS be about "What can a man do for me." Any woman who says differently... well you're lying. It will not always be financial, it could be physical, mental, or otherwise.

The problem comes in where REAL men are trying to find a REAL woman; that is, a woman who will own up to her own shortcomings and enhance a relationship be being herself. Being totally materialistic is not even a relationship... it's extended shopping at a store that you don't even like (kinda like Wal-Mart).

When we (as in men) stop accepting this kind of false love, then we can actually weed out the bad women and find a good woman, of which there are plenty of. Sometimes, we're just suckers for what's appeasing to look at and hear from, but that Siren's Song is getting mighty old to keep hearing.

And I'm tired of drowning.

25champ said...

@She Hate Me.... I feel u bruh. We do fall 4 whts appeasing to the eye n that's on us. It's up 2 men and women to pick a role and except what comes with that.A Pretty Face gets old after a few

JStar said...

I am so feelin this post and Don's comments...Its a give and take thing...We can do that "extra" in the begining as well but stop and you feel something about that as well...If you start something...continue it...and when you arent able to, say so and compromise...Men I know dont have much creativity...Ask a female for advice what you can do that may not cost a penny...Its always the thought that counts...But that goes for the women as well...

This sounds sooo like Steve Harvey's advice in his book :)

25champ said...

@Jstar.......Men are creative, but also depends on the man that you choose. Men def aren't mind readers, so sometimes u may have 2 tell him what u like.. that's what the dating process is for. When men get the impression that it's all about the money the effort stops. We love 2 give when it feels appreciated. But the continuing what u started def goes both ways, but it usually revolves sex with women, because men aren't usually being spoiled in anyother way besides maybe a homecooked meal. Men and women have 2 do better at the compromise thing.

Mizrepresent said...

I believe that the truest love you can give your mate will not be in the form of gifts, but of geninune concern, supporting his/her dreams, comforting them when in need, and just being there for every occassion, good, bad or ugly. Sure, women love gifts, but the greatest gift any man could give me will be his heart and vice-versa.

25champ said...

@Mizrepresent.....I totally agree 100%. Problem is that the media gives ppl false adverstisement when it comes to relationships so all Men see are gold diggers and all women see are deadbeats. That's why it's good to hear the point of view of someone ginuine. Thnks 4 sharing.

Daij said...

cosign w/don- my sentiments exactly

Katherine said...

I agree with Mizrepresent. For me it has never been about what he could give me in a materialistic sense. It was more about gifts of the heart & soul for me. Communication has always been the key to the success of our marriage thus far. A timely phone call, an attentive ear, a little unexpected hand written note, a foot rub, etc are the types of gifts that keep the flame of love alive for me.

25champ said...

@Katherine.....It just shows that relationships are stereotyped whether it be mail or female and that the point of this post...too get more women like you and Mizrepresents to stand up. Thanks 4 sharing :)

Kandia said...

This was a very thought-provoking post. I personally wouldn't want an apology gift...that's almost saying I can be bought into forgiving you. We'd have to sit down like adults and discuss whatever went wrong, not try to gloss it over with "Kobe" gifts.

I'm kinda old-fashioned so cooking and reciprocating will never go out of style to me :-)

25champ said...

@Kandia.....I feel u sis n I'm glad that their some old fashion women out there..... just remember that Kobe's wife did except the gift which confirms that ppl can be bought. Thankyou!

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