I know that a lot of you readers out there know all about the double standard between men and women. People tend to believe that men have it easier than women when it comes to being Promiscuous. It's Very True! Men do have it easier, but men don't get off scott free. While women tend to get judged more by their peers, men tend to have more problems in their relationships. Yeah our girlfriends my not call us skanks and sluts, but they do raise their eyebrows when it comes to giving us their complete trust. Men are more than likely to except a woman with a Promiscuous past than a woman would of a man. When have you seen a women come home to her family and introduced her stripper boyfriend. Not that all strippers are promiscuous, but men fall in love with strippers all the time. They even have songs glorifying it like... "I'm in love with a stripper" by T-Pain or the movie "Pretty Woman" where Richard Gere falls in love with the prostitue Julia Roberts . While women are being put down for the exploits they are more likely to be forgiven. People question their upbringing, childhood, etc......but on the otherhand men we are just dogs, immoral beings so to speak. All men want is sex according to society. We underline what's in bold "Promiscuity", but does anyone really care why.
19 comments:
Promiscuous behavior on behalf of a woman or man isn't the end all of society. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that certain stereotypes are being perpetuated by popular areas of society which leads to history repeating itself.
Far as the majority is concerned, I just don't see any particular way of getting around it. We are being taught (programmed) at an early age on how to walk, talk, act, think, sing, dance, whatever.
Oh, my bad, to answer the question, yes, there is an infinite Double Standard due to the fact that men and women have different roles in society.
You know... I am ok with the fact that women are not expected to sleep around or do as they want without consequence or labeling. Call it double-standard... or call it having personal standards.
While it is largely accepted and perceived that men have higher sexual drives therefore they can or do have multiple sex partners, it's not frowned upon because it's... expected.
However, I disagree... a woman isn't always forgiven... because if a woman tells her potential boyfriend, "I've slept with lots of men, a few women and my numbers run into triple digits"... I doubt so seriously he'd stay to hear her tell of how she ended up with such a high count. And women... we are more accepting and will hide the truth from family... "nah he's not the stripper you see on those glossy flyers mommy"...
Great post Champ! I've never understood why it was alright for men to explore promiscuous behaviors, and most often be forgiven. With nothing more than an excuse of "it just happened"! Sure there's some repercussions, but men are more likely to be forgiven than a woman in this area. Yes when a woman behaves this way she's the slut, the whore. Why can't a woman safely explore her sexuality until she finds what she wants or needs in a man? The 70's became a time of equality between men & women, so why would exploration of sexuality, promiscuity be any different?
Youre so right here Champ...Most men dont care...Esp if we have the skills to give them what they want...But I did have one guy (My ex) want to know EVERY detail of my past and when I forgot about some things and at first didnt tell him...When he hacked my email and read emails from years ago...He got upset because I didnt tell him when he asked...But I didnt want him to know the things I have done...Didnt want him to think less of me...Now...I dont care anymore...
But to me, a man that sleeps around is no better than a woman who does...I have stopped talking to men for this reason many times...My friend now, thats why we stopped talking 10 years ago..He is claiming innocence now however I dont believe it but that was 10 years ago so I dont hold it against him...
@Don....I feel u esp. on the being programmed part. I hate when I hear little girls say men aint ish as if they would know... and in some cases they have because some were dating grown ass men. My prblm is that society focuses on men vs women instead of the fact that ppl just aint right. It has nothing 2 do with gender.
@MsKnowitAll.... I feel u on evrythng except the forgiving part. Men just rather know up front then to find out she smashed the homie. Grown men except the fact their girl has been with others as long as the cord has been cut from those other men. He might not have good feelings about it, but he will stick around. After a certain age your relationships doesn't really deal with rumors like they would n highschool so in most cases as long she is being real with her new boo he won't go anywhere.
@Meagan....Women forgive their men in the relationship for promiscious behavior because they want their relionship to work not because he is excused.It will always be held over his head so whats the point of sticking around, but from a society standpoint... women standards are questions becaused they bare children and in most cases are in their childrens lives which is another story. They are considered the nurturers so society expects more from them, but as for dealing with a man. Most men don't deal with women without any experience. Sleeping with 10 men is no different with sleeping with 100 cause we all only supposed to be sleeping with only 1.
@JStar.....That's the prblm J is that those immature men seem to represent the rest of us. Their are plenty of guy that aren't so insecure, but women fall for image more than personality. I'm sure they will be plent that say that they don't, but we all no that nice guys finish last.It's those jackasses that make it hard for dudes who got sense.
Great Post! I never thought about it from this point of view you are correct. It's almost an expectation of mine that the men are promiscuous and I never completely expect them to be faithful, there is a part of me that thinks that's impossible. When I meet men who are selective and reserved in how they express themselves sexually I am usually surprised.
@DivaMom. Yes it's expect for a man 2 b promiscious, but the fact is that both have been doing it for years just one get's caught more often. Society acts like theirs all of these women sitting around being dogged, but if you ask any guy he can tell you his share of painful stories. Thanks 4 stopping by :)
Great discussion. I think it is widely accepted that men are more promiscious than women and when that theory is challenged it causes a shift. Women who as the saying goes "sow their oats", are looked down upon, that is why they don't want to tell the number of men they slept with. It is a hard truth. Sometimes just the perception that a woman is loose is enough to turn men away or be labeled as a whore. I don't judge men by the number of women they keep, or have kept, but by how they treat me and i only expect the same.
@Mizrepresent......Good points, but men are only glorified by other men for "sowing their oats". I haven't seen a women give a man a highfive yet for how many women he's slept with. Lets be real, their insecurities that come with dealing with a guy who has had many partners. I know many guys who have had issues well before any cheating or lying occurred just based on his sexual past. That sometimes can force a man to think what's the point of even being honest and that's when the true prblms arrive. Thanks 4 sharing :)
To piggy back on what Don said, it is about the role. Women were to be the nurturer and to take care of home. Men at one point had many wives and it was acceptable. Now that it's against the law to be polyamorous the habit is still there. lol. I also think the way we are raised. Men who are raised with women only tend to be a little better with fidelity. Some men teach boys that more than one woman means you are a mack, which leaves many little boys to feel lame if they only have one girl.
@Tia's Real Talk....I feel u sis but I also hear those same women say that they son is going 2 b a little heartbreaker. I've seen mothers who hate every girl that their son brings home or even tell their son's that they are to young to be in a serious relationship and that they should play the field. Their are plenty of women who contribute to this epidemic :)
I beg to differ women like men with a track record. I dont know why but they tend to go after the ones with that bad boy rep. Men get of waaaay easier when it comes to sleepin around. Like luda says for men they players but for women they say hey HOE. If u ask me a hoe is a hoe man or women. U sleep around ur nasty. Aids STDS are 4 real it only takes one time for a lady to sleep with the wrong person. YOU may not be a HOE ! But he is. I know plenty of instances where the girl was a virgin slept with a guy & nows shes got herpes. Hows that 4 thought. A Hoe is a Hoe male or female wrap it up !
Look at who standars you are going by "Luda" he doesn't rep men as a whole...But what about Nick Manaj, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian all get much love. Men goe through hell in their relationships when a women knows about his past. While u saying that u know a virgin who caught herpes...u act like that can't happen to a man. I never said it wasn't hard for women, but men catch hell also. We don't live a TV lifestyle so therefore our girlfriends, fam don't approve of the promiscuious lifestyle. At the end of the day I agree wrap it up!
You remember the old saying.."You can't turn a ho into a housewife". The same goes for men. I know I am going to get slammed for saying this...but once a ho always a ho.
If a man been with a lot of women, the woman would probably give him a time of day. But can any man actually tell me, that he would consider a serious relationship with a promiscuious woman. Being a stripper and being a prostitute or being a ho are very different things.
Shaking your a** and giving up a** is the issue. LOL
@Dee Dee it may be true that u can't turn a ho into a house wife, but many men have tried and failed. Look at these celebrities. They go frm relationships to relatiohship and still get mad love. The kardashians, hiltons, etc. I've seen guys go down on strippers in the strip clubs so trust n believe there is somebody for everybody ho or not. Those same women willing to give him the time of day in most cases uses his past against him in someway. There isn't a easy road for either sex when comes to being promiscuios.
There are consequences to all of our actions. The reality of the world is that none of us are 100% spotless. It is what it is.
As long as we all recognize that there are consequences to our actions and we accept that; then there is no reason to assume that there should be a double standard.
It's been awhile since James Brown sang "It's a man's world".
RT!
i think there shouldnt b a double standard when it comes to promiscuity but thats not how society veiws when a female or male is promiscious. its not cool to b out there like that by either sex. we werent suppose to b sharin out bodies wit evrybdy jus only one person but man went against God plan n as a consequence i think diseases come into play along wit other issues. jus my opinion
@Random Thoughts couldn't agree more :)
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